Be The Adult You Needed

For those of you who don’t know I am a substitute teacher for my local school district. As corny as it sounds, I think teaching is one of the most important jobs in the world. As a teacher you have this opportunity to influence people’s lives in a huge way. That being said, I will never be a teacher, I don’t have it in me to be a teacher. It is so much work for very little pay out. As an adult in these children’s life, my ultimate goal is to be the kind of an adult who I needed when I was a child. Especially as a kid in middle school, I think you just need someone to care about you who doesn’t have to. So many kids don’t have a person out there who shows they care. I understand how hard it is, sometimes pre-teens are angst-ridden little assholes but they still need someone other than their parents to care about them.

So many people think it’s weird for kids and adults to interact outside of when they have to. I don’t think it is, with how connected the entire world is it’s ridiculous to think that you can’t be in child’s life any other way then as their teacher. In my school district they start talking to kids about college at least freshman year in high school, possibly even earlier and your expected to share your hopes and dreams and feelings with these people who only want to be ‘professional’ with you. When I was younger telling them I wanted to be an actress was the last thing I wanted to do because I felt judged for it.  How can it be fair that you want the kids to be so open with you but you won’t do the same?

As a kid, all I ever felt was judged by the adults in my school because I was different.  I never felt comfortable sharing anything with these people because I never felt that any of them cared. My three years in middle school I felt that I had one teacher who actually listened to me and it only happened once. I spent those three years practically begging for help but still I was left alone, the few times when some did reach out to me, it was to reprimand me, not to show that they were there for me. How messed up is that? They were more concerned in my almost violating the dress code then with me writing suicidal poems in my free time.

If I can positively influence even one person who is younger than me then I will feel my life was well worth it. I realize I am not always the best influence, I make mistakes and I’m kind of an asshole, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care, I’m bad at showing it but I really do care, especially about the kids who I sub for. I don’t want any of these kids to ever feel like no one cares about them, because I care. If that means I have to have weird snapchat conversations or deal with them making fun of me over Instagram or Facebook then I will. It doesn’t bother, I love that these kids like me because they really are these awesome kids who have so much potential, as annoying as they can be sometimes. I understand that especially for regular teachers, they don’t really think it’s appropriate or it’s weird or whatever, but really how hard is it to take interest in what they are doing outside of school sports, but what they are drawing or writing about or anything that doesn’t involve what they want to do when they grow up.

It is my belief that if teachers just opened up more to kids, quit judging their generation for being so technology based or especially for being kids, there would be so much less teen depression and suicidal thoughts. As teachers, you have the power to influence an entire generation of people to be better people and to show them that someone gives a fuck about them and what happens to them. It’s hard, but they just need a little validation that someone is there and not just because it’s their job, but because they really truly care. In short, you really shouldn’t be a teacher unless you really truly care about what you’re doing and about the kids you’re teaching or you’re not only shorting yourself, your shorting those amazing kids your teaching. 

I’m only 20, most of the time it’s weird to consider myself an adult, but think of what you needed when you were a kid and be that adult for someone else. Even if you were lucky enough to have the adult you needed be that person for someone who might really need it.

I Need Feminism Because...

So this is my little feminist rant, sorry like most of my posts it’s kind of all over the place, but I hope I got my point across.

I have a friend on Facebook who recently posted this video https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202284797704724 and her captain read "do any of you dread the modesty vs perception/expectation/"un-cool" talk like me?" I want to state that I'm not trying to call out this woman, she a mother of 3 little girls and I hold no dislike or any hard feelings towards her. However, I hate this video, because it is just assumed that women dress to impress men. If you click on the actual Facebook video the captain reads "This is so true. I'm amazed and appalled by some of the dresses I've seen and sometimes by young ladies who should know better. Today's young men would like to see more modest dresses at Homecoming and Prom!" FUCK THAT! Sorry to break it to you but girls don't dress for young men, they dress for other girls. Even when I went on a date I didn’t dress to impress the guy, I wanted to make everybody who looked at me jealous that I looked good and I got the guy. I don't think I've ever had a male friend come up to me and start bashing my clothing saying I’m too slutty or something and if they did, fuck them! And I'm sorry, but who the fuck is anyone to judge what somebody else wears to begin with. I get it, its human nature to compare and judge other people, welcome to the world, but seriously just because I wear shirts that show a lot of cleavage doesn't make me a bad person, I just have a lot of boobs or that I enjoy wearing a short skirt sometimes because I feel good in it, not to impress anybody. I want to feel good about myself and if that means I'm going to dress up like a slut, they who are you to tell me I'm not good enough for something. Why shouldn't young girls show off their bodies and be proud of themselves? Society let’s little girls grow up thinking there is something wrong with their bodies by telling them to cover it all up because if you show your body off that automatically makes you a slut. Dress codes even do it by saying girls can’t show off their shoulders in school because heaven forbid a guy can’t conceal his sexual urges when he sees a woman’s bare shoulders.  That’s on boys if they can’t take care of their boners, and girls shouldn’t be blamed for that. On a real level clothing is a healthy outlet for kids, teenagers and people in general to express themselves. If they want to dress modest, great, that’s their body. If someone wants to dress like a slut, fine, their choice, not yours. And we shouldn’t be teaching little girls to be afraid of their bodies, we should teach them to accept and treasure their bodies and to celebrate them however they choose.  Seriously, don’t make girls feel wrong about their bodies and that they have to cover themselves because somebody might think that their sluts. By worrying about other people’s perceptions of your own body, you’re making yourself and your children a victim of unhappiness because if you can’t accept your body for all the amazingness and beauty that it is, then what’s the point of having it. Not to mention the fact that teaching them that you have to cover your body because you will just be seen as a sexual object if you show it off, what kind of message is that really sending to young women? There is absolutely nothing wrong with being modest, but there is also nothing wrong with showing of what your mama gave you. And really if we are going to teach anybody anything about modesty and perception we should be teaching boys to control their sexual urges and to perceive women as equals and not sexual objects to begin with.